Saturday, January 15, 2011
People often view things differently. I once felt that the weaklings should die and only the strongest will survive. I'd seen geeks survived and living better than those who thinks they look better or live a richer life. I've seen better looking hunks fell and never to rise again.
Such, is the contradictory of life.
I thought I am strong and only to realise that I'm weak afterall. There is nothing strong in me. No determination, perseverance or any thing. Such caused me to despise myself and hate myself. Detest myself and wish I'm dead.
So shut away from the world, from friends, from family but, what bull?
Fuck it. Now what? Wait till after March and hope all ends like proposed? Yea fuck you. You are full of proposals but you made none work.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011
fuck im feeling sick. seehsa, beer, and plenty of food. omg im spinning
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Saturday, January 8, 2011
Disown yea? What about knowing I'm in difficult time and not coming to talk to me? Talking bout disowning me as a buddy yea? Fuck, do it. Like I need friends
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I guessed I found where I left behind. I'd like it when it all converted in anger when I listen to Eminem songs. Somewhat, all left in me is anger and I can work at a furious rate, burning alot of my misplaced concentration and energy.
Enough of wall punching purple knuckles. Enough of crazy hardcore smoking although not being addicted.
Some part still gonna stay though. That ezlink card still gotta keep working for me. Those cute lil things on my work partition, and all the small thing I possess for memory sake.
Yea man, FUCK THE WORLD! How successful I managed to get myself hurt emotionally, financially, spiritually?
FUCK THE WORLD!
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Sunday, January 2, 2011
Love the way you lie. 'Cos now I know how it works, I'm never falling for it again. NEVER.
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When I first started being into relationship, I thought it would be fun and I should go around trying every kinda girl just like how you would want to go around trying every kinda food at a food fair.
So I got in relationships not more than a month, which seriously, I don't really consider them or treat them for real. And seriously what do I gain out of them? Nothing much except losing it with the 3rd.
Till I met her, enduring a 3 and half years relationship and some dilly-dally months, I realised I'm not craft out to play. No talents for it in fact.
In army, I had visited Thai Disco and I never like it. Cos I don't like the idea that I seems to be cheating on my girl. That, too, is the reason why I didn't like clubbing. However, not having seen this in the same view, the relationship ends bitter with it as the reason.
Now, I'm visiting Thai Discos and stopped lately, for a Thai girl. Contradicting?
Almost falling into a depression over that? Started smoking and smoke a pack a day as a beginner?
Just fuck it dude, it's not the way it works. Get over.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010, an eventful year. Nothing particularly up but certainly alot of downs.
During the year, problems at work, screwed up school work, some kinda weird relationship, a miserable year end. However, things will end as 2011 steps in.
Certain resolutions I had made and I hope to fulfill in this year. Let's just hope I can do so.
I did my fair share of self torture, now in 2011, I will do my fair share of self reminder.
Let's just hope for the best!
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